“A bouncer in Birmingham hit me in the face with a crescent wrench five times and my wife’s boyfriend broke my jaw with a fence post. So if you don’t buy a mobile home from me, it ain’t gonna hurt my feelings..”

Give this man an Oscar already.

[BBC News] U2 has re-defined irony during a show to mark the 20th Anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall. As part of MTV Europe Music Awards, U2 will play a show in Berlin to help mark the occassion. The ironic part – organizers have built a 2-meter tall wall sorrounding the venue to keep out people without tickets to the show on the same spot where the Berlin Wall used to sit.

MTV released 10,000 tickets to the public for the performance which will take place in square in front of the Brandenburgh gate. Police expect upwards of 100,000 people trying to catch a glimpse of the band.

There is something hairy going on at the bear enclosures at a zoo in Leipzig, Germany. Or rather, “hairless”. The female Bespectacled Bears are looking a little light these days as all of them have suddenly become bald from head to toe save a few tufts of black fur on their faces. Pictured above is Dolores, one of the female bears at the zoo currently dealing with the affliction. Scientists cannot put their finger on what is causing the sudden female pattern baldness, but the phenomenon has begun drawing hoards of crowds to the zoo to see just what a bear looks like without all the fur. In case you were wondering, it’s downright terrifying.

The bears which orginate from South America usually have a thick dark brown coat around this time of year to prepare for winter, but something at the zoo has left these women without any coverage. The baldness has led to skin rashes and some experts believe the condition to be a genetic disorder.

Whatever is causing Dolores and the rest of the lady-bears to look this way, you can count me out on a trip to Leipzig to catch a glimpse. If I wanted to see something naked that resembled a cross between a kangaroo and a hippo, I’d just watch my over-weight neighbor do pilates in her living room. Fun Fact – her name is also Dolores.

And if you’re reading this Dolores, try shutting your blinds.

Hey, that’s how JACK passed High School!

Picture originally seen at imgur.com

(Getty Images)

Ronnie Wood of the Rolling Stones has indicated that a tour may be on the horizon for the legendary British band.

“It’s all very good,” Wood told the BBC. “I saw Mick [Jagger] and Charlie [Watts] last week. Everything is great.”

When asked about the possibility of a Stones tour, Wood said, “Let’s hope so, yeah!”

The band has not hit the road together since 2005-2007’s Bigger Bang tour, which eventually became the highest-grossing tour of all time.

Wood was also recently rumored to be thinking about getting together with his old band, the Faces, for a reunion tour. The gossip developed after the surviving members of the original line-up, minus Rod Stewart, got together for a gig last month.