Whether you like it or not, this weekend marks the biggest “date night” of the year. So if you’re having relations of any sort on a regular basis, chances are pretty good your Sunday evening is already booked. Because Valentine’s Day lands on a weekend again this year, all of you guys out there in committed relationships will probably have to leave the comfort of your own home and pony up some cash for a night out on the town. Dinner and a movie is a common choice for couples and since our annual celebration of Saint Valentine was created solely for females, it is only fair that the girl in your life gets to pick the screening you two will attend.
JACK FM has gone ahead and figured out 8 V-Day Movies you may be forced to sit through to appease your girlfriend/wife/significant-other this weekend, and some pointers if you want to survive them.
Dear John
PLOT: A soldier falls in love with a college student while home on leave and the two of them send love letters to each other. No one at Jack has seen it yet but we can safely assume it is probably filled with a whole lot of talking, passionate make-out scenes in rainstorms, and at least one song by The Fray. Vomitinourmouth.
WHY SHE WANTS TO SEE IT: Three reasons – (1) written by the same guy who penned The Notebook, (2) she secretly wants to date a soldier, and (3) she secretly wants to date Channing Tatum.
SAVING GRACE: None. Not only does the lead female Amanda Seyfried look eerily like an alien extra from District 9, you know the storyline is just going to be flat-out painful to watch. If you find yourself with this ticket stub in your pocket, just know you probably did something wrong.
Edge of Darkness
PLOT: Mel Gibson plays a homicide detective investigating his daughter’s murder and uncovers a giant corporate cover-up / government secrets.
WHY SHE WANTS TO SEE IT: Two words – Daddy Issues
SAVING GRACE: The whole thing. We’ve heard that “Mel is Back” and if this movie is anything close to another fatherly-love film like Taken, it’s great for both sexes.
When In Rome
PLOT: An American girl looking for love at her sister’sRoman wedding tosses a coin in a magic fountain and is followed by every man she meets.
WHY SHE WANTS TO SEE IT: Finding romance in a foreign land is every girl’s dream.
SAVING GRACE: It has enough funny moments to make it worthwhile and we, collectively as American males, have not been able to forget Sarah Marshall no matter how hard we try.
The Wolfman
PLOT: An American returning to his homeland is bitten and becomes a werewolf.
WHY SHE WANTS TO SEE IT: In the same way that she fell hard for the boys of Twilight and True Blood, the dream of being mauled by Benecio Del Toro makes him all the more appealing due to his extremely dangerous after-dark antics. It is a scientific fact that all women love danger. “If they could, they’d just date a fire.”
SAVING GRACE: This movie looks awesome. Just pretend you aren’t interested and maybe she won’t pull a switch for Dear John when you get to the box office.
From Paris With Love
PLOT: A young US embassy employee in France teams up with an American spy to stop a terrorist attack in Paris.
WHY SHE WANTS TO SEE IT: Because she didn’t take the time to research the movie any further than the title, so she’s probably banking on a romantic comedy unfolding under the Eiffel Tower. Boy is she going to be disappointed.
SAVING GRACE: It has mixed reviews, but John Travolta shooting at people has to be better than half of the other movies on this list.
Valentine’s Day
PLOT: Every movie star the studio could find discusses the trials and tribulations of being single in Los Angeles and dealing with February’s annual Single’s Awareness Day.
WHY SHE WANTS TO SEE IT: Because it’s everything she could ever hope for in a Valentine’s Day movie date. Including McDreamy.
SAVING GRACE: The Three J’s (Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel, and Jennifer Garner). All in one movie…. This is epic. It is like planets aligning.
Avatar
PLOT: Um… it’s the biggest movie ever. If you haven’t heard of it yet we suggest getting out of the house. Your family is probably worried about you.
WHY SHE WANTS TO SEE IT: Because you went with all of your buddies and saw it in 3D at the IMAX on opening weekend without her. Now she’s making you go again just for spite.
SAVING GRACE: It was awesome the first time around, no reason your second time at bat can’t be a home run as well.
The Tooth Fairy
PLOT: Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is a minor league hockey player who does something wrong and has to be the Tooth Fairy for a week. In other words, The Rock got in deep with some bad people on a few poorly thought out bets this year and needed to make some cash back. Quick.
WHY SHE WANTS TO SEE IT: Because her sense of humor skews towards awful.
SAVING GRACE: At least her terrible taste in entertainment options gives you a solid reason to break up. Then you can find a new girl… we recommend the one that wants to go see Edge of Darkness. She sounds awesome.
February 11th, 2010 - 3:31 pm
[...] 8 V-day Movies Guys Will Be Forced To See. [Jack FM] [...]
February 11th, 2010 - 9:37 pm
My guess is the writer is gay. To each his own. Loved how the movies got worse before they got better. Not all girly things are bad. Some balance, maybe.
February 11th, 2010 - 9:39 pm
Who ever wrote this is an idiot…
February 11th, 2010 - 10:06 pm
wait, what if she wants to see the percy lightning thing?!
I’m confused!
February 11th, 2010 - 11:04 pm
i agree with kayla. whoever wrote this has women issues. not a single woman i know wants to see “the tooth fairy” unless they’re under the age of 9.
February 11th, 2010 - 11:10 pm
You are so right about this!
February 12th, 2010 - 12:24 am
Maybe she wants to see From Paris With Love because she would rather watch the hotness that is Jonathan Rhys Meyers than have to talk to her lame-ass misogynistic boyfriend.
February 12th, 2010 - 12:31 am
If my boyfriend thought that I would be dragging him to movies like Edge of Darkness, From Paris with love, the Wolfman and Avatar, he would pretty damn happy this Valentines day. This list seems halfassed and lack luster. Really it looks like the writer just took whatever was the top five in the box office and threw in a few that were “girlie”.
February 12th, 2010 - 12:50 am
Happy valentines day to everyone.
February 12th, 2010 - 1:27 am
I concur about the comment about The Tooth Fairy. It’s a kid movie, and a bad-looking one at that. No woman should want to see that who is not accompanied by small children.
As for dragging someone to see Avatar…that was the most over-rated movie I have seen (maybe tied with Titanic). I would not drag someone to see a film with a plot so poorly constructed that it sounds like something a 12-year old would write. The computer animated 3-D effects combined with the live action,well, did not match up right (at least in the first 20 minutes) and gave me a headache. So, yes, that’s exactly what she wants to do: drag a guy to a long, boring movie and end up with a headache.
Seriously, can the woman have some taste? Maybe she would want to bring a guy to a movie that was deservedly nominated for an Oscar (unlike my opinion on Avatar), which was put into wider release after receiving its nomination.
February 12th, 2010 - 2:24 am
I think the writer of this list needs to be prescribed a girlfriend, one that bites.
February 12th, 2010 - 3:06 pm
From the writer…
I thought JACK listeners would be well versed in sarcasm…
February 12th, 2010 - 3:20 pm
Avatar was a great movie, I just watched it a few day ago. I don’t usually go to the theather because I get nervious around a lot people but I think I’ll give this one a shot because people are saying that it’s even better on the big screen, I think it might be in 3D. Anyway the movie Avatar get two thumbs up from me, I watch all of my movies at voobymovies,com if anyone was wondering and it’s free
February 12th, 2010 - 3:55 pm
[...] Eight V-day Movies Guys Will Be Forced To See (Jack FM) [...]
February 14th, 2010 - 1:02 am
[...] 8 V-Day Movies Guys Will Be Forced To See [...]
February 14th, 2010 - 2:31 am
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February 15th, 2010 - 1:14 am
Freedom of speech my friend, that’s why
February 15th, 2010 - 7:37 pm
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February 17th, 2010 - 10:41 am
The Wolfman turned out to be everything I’d hoped for. Making a horror movie with a classic feel to it is like threading a needle – there are so many ways to screw it up. But the folks who made this movie pulled it off. The movie looks great. The cast is fantastic. Rick Baker’s make-up was awesome. And the CGI transformation scenes (that I was concerned about)are FANTASTIC! I really don’t think Rick Baker could have improved on them. This movie is a great valentine to lovers of the Universal classics. Fun!
February 17th, 2010 - 4:38 pm
Talking about the films, not the characters. I think The Mummy was an excellent remake, and is a classic film and I can watch it over and over. It’s just got enough meat on its bones. The Wolfman has a somewhat interesting plot, which isn’t immediately revealed right away. It’s not a plot where you an go, and then this happened, and then this, and then this. It’s got some twists and revelations that. It’s not, as linear and it didn’t feel as fun. Now, they’re different movies of course, 1 is horror is is adventure. Still they’re both remakes of classic monster movies by universal studios. I think they certainly learned their lesson from Van helsing and this is a much better movie than that. I cant help but compare the 2 movies though. I guess I just kind of wish Wolfman was better, like how I like the Mummy.
February 18th, 2010 - 7:41 am
James Cameron has definately made another fine piece of work this time. Avatar is stunning, and although the actual story is a bit cliche the movie experience more than makes up for this. Will we see a sequel? I hope so
February 19th, 2010 - 8:53 pm
Great post, going to send this link to my friends. Truly love it. Looking forward to more posts. THX.
February 25th, 2010 - 5:26 pm
I can’t wait for the new Iron Man movie. Iron Man 2 is going to be awesome! The soundtrack with AC/DC is going to be great! I wonder if they will leave it open for a third Iron Man movie…
February 26th, 2010 - 2:42 am
[...] Dinner and a movie is a common choice for couples and since our annual celebration of Saint Valentine was created solely for females, it is only fair that the girl in your life gets to pick the screening you two will attend. …Read More [...]
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