[Chicago SunTimes] In an effort to make travelling in America more efficient, Illinois has been awarded a $1.1 billion chunk of the federal grant money available to build a high speed rail track between Chicago and St. Louis. The money goes towards rebuilding tracks to allow trains to travel at 110 mph instead of the current 79 mph, shaving over 90 minutes off the current 5.5 hour trip.
There of course are pros and cons to this advancement:
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PRO: Easier access to Anheuser-Busch Brewery.
CON: Easier access to Chicago for Cardinals fans.
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PRO: Ride to top of the Gateway Arch, 630-feet in the air.
CON: Still overlooking that same Midwest flat-ness.
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PRO: Wander thru the 1,371 acres of beautiful Forest Park.
Today on my way to the station, I’m pretty sure my brain froze. Not like when you eat ice cream too fast, which is sort of a “good hurt”. No, this was a painful experience where I actually felt the blood in my veins turn to ice/slush/wintry-mix. I am pretty confident it will cause a pothole in my forehead by Saturday and since we’re in Chicago it probably won’t be filled until April… of 2018.
To combat the ridiculous cold front that has moved into our fair city by the lake, I scoured the Internet to bring all the Jack Faithful out there 5 Ridiculous Chicago Events going down in the next few months. We’re not saying they will make you warmer, but at least they’ll help you remember why this city is still a good place to live despite the tundra forecast.
January 30th, 2010
Lakeview Polar Bear Plunge
Have you ever looked out past Lake Shore Drive at the icy waves of Lake Michigan mid-January and said to yourself, “you know what, I could really go for a swim”? Well, this weekend you’ll have your chance. The Lakeview Polar Bear Club is holding their 9th Annual Plunge at Oak Street Beach this Saturday, January 30th. The shrinkage-inducing dive starts at noon, but you should get there at 11:30am for a good spot. The event last year raised over $68,000 for Chicago families in need – you can help them beat that number for 2010.
This one is less ridiculous and more just plain awesome. Over 160 restaurants around the City are putting their chefs to work preparing 3-Course Pre Fixe Meals for insanely affordable prices. You can’t go wrong with $22 lunches and $32 dinners at some of Chicago’s best eateries. Just remember to tip your wait-staff since they probably listen to Jack too.
But don’t worry, Chicago. You’ll still get to see stuff explode on the lakefront as three smaller displays will occur on the night of the 4th over Navy Pier and the north/south lakefronts.
Also cut for the next year: Outdoor Film Festival, Criterion Bike Race, and Mayor’s Youth Soccer events. Cut a day off of both the Jazz Fest and Country Music Fest and move most of the other Grant Park events to Millennium Park.
But don’t worry, I bet you’ll still have to pay $80 to park your car for an hour on the street by August. Penalty for not paying will most likely be public beheading under The Bean.
[CBS News] Nadya Suleman, better known to America as Southern California’s “Ocotomom” had a giant birthday celebration for her octuplets the other day. Apart from being some of the most famous babies not owned by John, Kate, or Bradgelina, the children are now considered to be the longest-living octuplets.
In other news, this woman is still absolutely insane. Seriously. 14 kids?
Cub Scout Mikey Hicks Shares Same Name Of Person Who Has Drawn Suspicion Of Homeland Security Department
CLIFTON, N.J. (CBS) ?Travel is a hassle for an 8-year-old Cub Scout from New Jersey. That’s because Mikey Hicks shares the same name of a person who has drawn the suspicion of the Homeland Security Department.
His mother tells The New York Times she sensed trouble when her son was a baby and she couldn’t get a seat for him at a Florida airport. She says airline officials explained his name “was on the list.”
He was patted down as a 2-years-old at Newark Liberty International Airport.
The newspaper says the boy’s name appears to be among 13,500 on the “selectee” list, which sets off a high level of security screening.
Transportation Security Administration spokesman James Fotenos says in the coming months, the agency will cross-check names with birth dates and gender.
TSA officials have been under fire of late, after the failed Christmas Day terror plot aboard a U.S.-bound plane and a complete security breach led to a chaotic breakdown at Newark Liberty International Airport. The TSA claimed responsibility for their roles in both cases, and have since taken strides to remedy the holes in the system.
[CBS News] We’re not saying that a dinosaur theme park is ready to open this year, but the science behind ressurecting extinct animals has increased dramatically in the past few years. Using hair samples from a Woolly Mammoth, scientists at Penn State were able to create the first ever extinct species to have it’s genome decoded. Other animals that humans would soon have the opportunity to bring back: Giant Sloth, Irish Elk, and the Sabertooth Tiger.
JACK FM is also tinkering away in our own science lab to see if we can ressurrect the year where the image below was considered sexy.
[CBS News] The NYC group Improv Everywhere has been responsible for chaotic hilarious-ness in public places around the Big Apple for a few years. From choreographed dance moves in Grand Central Station to going shirtless at the Abercrombie & Fitch store, they’re always up to something.
Yesterday afternoon they launched the 9th Annual No Pants Subway Ride around New York City. Over 3,000 twenty-somethings with nothing better to do boarded the trains, took off their pants, and pretended like nothing out of the ordinary was happening.
If you still don’t get it, watch the video of last year’s ride below. While it looks like a crazy-good-time, don’t think you’ll see Jack dropping trou on the CTA anytime soon. Pretty sure that’s how you get hepatitis.
Thanks to Deadspin for showing us what our 2nd favorite Bull from the ’90s has been up to recently. In 2008, it seems Scottie Pippen played a cameo role in the upcoming film Midgets vs Mascots. What was supposed to be some harmless, height-induced-humor turned quickly into Pippen being attacked by a group of “Little People”.
You can read his entire press release regarding the situation here. We don’t really know anything about this movie, but we’d be lying if we said we weren’t suddenly intrigued.
And for those of you wondering – yes, that apparently is in fact Gary Coleman who strikes Pippen in the head with a hotel room telephone.
Every airline traveler has a horror-story of being held captive in Coach awaiting departure. Some are 15 minutes late, some spend hours. My personal horror story involves 8 hours of my life that I will never get back waiting at the gate in Chicago as they seemed to rebuild the entire plane.
Well, he might not be able to get us universal health care, but President Obama will be damned if us Americans have to wait on the tarmac. The Transportation Department ordered new 3-hour restrictions enforced on all domestic airlines where they have to either take-off or return to the gate.
Of course, a three hour wait on Air Force One is probably a little nicer than the middle seat between this guy and McScreams-A-Lot.
[News Channel 9] It’s the holidays. Time for wrapping paper, shiny lights, and plenty of “cheer”. And in Chattanooga Tennessee, “cheer” is a nice way of labeling this little gem we found on the local news.
Early Tuesday morning, Chattanooga Police found a 4-year-old child wandering the streets of his neighborhood at 1:45am… wearing a little girl’s dress… and drinking a beer.
Oh, and the dress? That was one of five Christmas presents the boy stole from under his neighbor’s Christmas Tree when he broke into their house from an unlocked door.
There are so many red flags in this one we can’t even begin to dissect it right now. But here’s a link to the story because we KNOW you’ll want to share it with others.
